Nicee06
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Bonjour, pouvez vous me corriger cette notion pour le bac, en cette période de confinement peu de prof répondre au mail...


I am going to talk about the notion « Places and Exchanges ». An exchange is when we give in return for something received, for example money, ideas or financial aid. Trade, emigration, wars and disasters have influenced the world. The different cultural, economic, sociological and langage interactions have transformed and characterised the world sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. I’m going to talk about immigrations. About a million years ago humans explore northwards out of Africa, beginning the process by whichmaking has colonized the planet.

Firstly, we will look the history and the causes of immigration, then we will talk about the motivations of people to immigrate.



Firstly, the document seen in class, talks about the history and the causes of immigration. Immigration started in 1492. The first wave of immigration took place in the 1500s, the country of origin of immigrants was Spain and they settled in Florida, Mexico and the Carribean. The second wave of immigration took place in the 1600s and the country of origin of immigrants were England, France, Germany The Netherlands and Africa. The African immigrants came as captives on slave ships . They settle mainly in America because America is a multiethnic, multicultural country.

Migrants leave their countries of origin for severeal reasons :



First of all, there are several types of migrants, economic refugees. The economic migrant is often represented as a person who entered a country for working. The political refugees, is defined as a person leaving his country of origin to protect his freedom or life like the refugees, they flee their country to escape the war. To finish the climate refugees, means persons obliged to leave the country, as a result of the degradation of their environment or of natural disasters. People have moved from their countries for centuries, for all sorts of reasons. Some are attracted to new places by ‘’pull factors’’, others find it difficult to stay where they are and migrate of ‘’push factors’’.


In class we have seen that migrant drawn to a country by the factors for example, developed countries draw labour from poorer countries where incomes are lower. The phone and internet make it easier to acces information or otherwise the rapid economic expansion. Negative factors at home amplify the reasons why people feel forced to move. Because the poverty and low incomes or even natural disasters, climate change and famine.



To conclude, I wonder if the lives of immigrants are really better than the ones they might have in they country of origin since they earn too little money to live in good conditions. And integration of foreigners remains a problem nowadays.

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Sagot :

Réponse :

I am going to talk about the notion of « Places and Exchanges ». An exchange is when we give in return for something received, for example money, ideas or financial aid. Trade, emigration, wars and disasters have influenced the world. The different cultural, economic, sociological and langage interactions have transformed and characterised the world sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. I’m going to talk about immigrations. About a million years ago humans explore northwards out of Africa, beginning the process by whichmaking has colonized the planet.(c'est pas clair, qu'est-ce qu tu veux dire ?)

Firstly, we will look at the history and the causes of immigration, then we will talk about the motivations of people who immigrate.

To begin with, the document seen in class,  deals with (talk about c'est pour des personnes) the history and the causes of immigration. Immigration started in 1492. The first wave of immigration took place in the 1500s,immigrants came from Spain and they settled in Florida, Mexico and the Carribean. The second wave of immigration took place in the 1600s and this time immigrants were from England, France, Germany, The Netherlands and Africa. The African immigrants came as captives on slave ships . They settled (manquait le d du prétérit) mainly in America because America is a multiethnic, multicultural country.

(il n'y a pas de logique entre tes deux parties car tu introduis tjs avec firstly, il faudrait then par exemple.)

Migrants leave their countries of origin for severeal reasons :

First of all, there are several types of migrants, economic refugees. The economic migrant is often represented as a person who enters a country for working. The political refugees, is defined as a person leaving his country of origin to protect his freedom or life. Most refugees flee their country to escape the war. The last category is the climate refugees, which means persons who are obliged to leave their country, as a result of the degradation of their environment or of natural disasters. People have moved from their countries for centuries, for all sorts of reasons. Some are attracted to new places by ‘’pull factors’’, others find it difficult to stay where they are and migrate because of ‘’push factors’’.

In class we have seen that migrant drawn to a country by these factors for example, developed countries draw labour from poorer countries where incomes are lower (qu'est-ce que tu veux dire ?) The phone and the internet make it easier to access  (il manquait un s)information or otherwise the rapid economic expansion (qu'est-ce que tu veux dire ?). Negative factors at home amplify the reasons why people feel forced to move. It can be poverty, low incomes,  natural disasters, or even climate change and famine (starvation)

To conclude, I wonder if the lives of immigrants are really better than the ones they might have in their own country  since they earn too little money to live in good conditions. And foreigner integration remains a problem nowadays.

Explications : il y a des phrases boiteuses à récrires (trop calquées sur le français et qui sonnent bizarre en anglais) et certaines dont le sens n'était pas clair. Les modifications apportées à ton texte sont en gras, si tu veux une meilleure correction, merci de répondre à mes questions car certains passages ont un sens confus

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