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Could you correct me please ! ☺️❤ thank youuuu
My text :
In the late 21 century. American people are increasingly numerous to seek well being linked with the idea of progress. I would like to begin by giving a definition of this nocion. This one can be defined as a positive evolution, it's a change for the better. Through several documents from various kind we studied this year, we noticed that many ways has been found on different levels by American people on both individual à national levels. We can therefore ask ourselves on which ways do American people find to improve their well-being?

I will focus my presentation on two main topics. Firstly on ways of American people to improve their well-being on an individual level and secondly on a national level.

First of all let's begin with an initiative we studied which considerably change American people way of life and improve their well-being. It's called "bikes only areas". It consist of banning all means of transport like cars in an area. Consequently there isn't a single car in the street except for bikes which are free to move inside. What is easily noticeable in the picture crowded with bikes and people. It's more likely and action on an individual level than on a national one. Indeed people are riding safely bikes on their own to their destinations. Moreover this "bikes only area" initiative represent a good way to fight pollution in cities by reducing greenhouse gases mostly produced by cars. Speaking of today pollution have disastrous, numerous and adverse effects on wildlife, environment,and human. This action is a necessary and brings hope for the future. So besides being outside all these people are moving and doing sports instead of remaining stuck inside their cars, which also enables them to cut greenhouse gases and improve the air quality of cities. This is a very good way to improve their well-being. It makes their daily life healthier than ever.

In addition to the "bike only area documents" we are going to introduce a new one about kitchen garden for restaurants. The document show us a sharp contrast between a large vegetable garden and skyscrapers in the background. Indeed this vegetable garden is located at the top of a building in the open hair right in the middle of a big city. Two men apparently cooked are waking on it and looks particularly absorbed in their work. Actually most restaurants used to buy frozen vegetables or to import them from the countryside this picture represent a major shift in the way we produce food by using a huge garden in the open hair among the building. Thus they become both gardeners and cooks and probably tend to pay more attention to quality of the food they use. It's an advantage for both the customers who'll eat dishes made with fresh vegetables, and the cooks.
The first two pictures help us to understand the impact of initiative undertake on a individual level and their benefits for American people well-being. It's a relevant illustration of the nocion of progress.

Now let's focus on a national level. One of the biggest action done on a national level was Michele Obama's "let's move initiative" during the Barack Obama's presidency. It has considerably changed American habits in the way the eat. Especially for children in school. In fact through a report we discovered that the first lady wanted to make the cafeteria food healthier by reducing fatty, salty and sugary food and by doubling the amount of vegetables served in cafeteria. This initiative help children to substitute high calorie foods such as fat milk by light food with better nutritional value at home. It's a good way to change American children's behaviour and to improve their well-being with more balanced meals.

To conclude I would say that on the whole, new ways found by American people to improve their well-being are welcomed initiative. I (really) fell that these initiatives are much more than just trends. It seems like a necessity to me. All these initiatives we talked about were at the same time great for both people and environment with less pollution, better food and finally healthier and sportier lives.​

Sagot :

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Réponse :

In the late 21st century. American people are increasingly numerous to seek well-being linked with the idea of progress. I would like to begin by giving a definition of this notion. This one can be defined as a positive evolution, it's a change for the better. Through several documents from various kind we studied this year, we noticed that many ways has been found on different levels by American people on both individual à national levels. We can therefore ask ourselves on which ways do American people find to improve their well-being?

I will focus my presentation on two main topics. Firstly on ways of American people to improve their well-being on an individual level and secondly on a national level.

First lets begin with an initiative we studied which considerably change American people way of life and improve their well-being. It's called “bikes only areas”. It consists of banning all means of transport like cars in an area. Consequently, there isn't a single car in the street except for bikes which are free to move inside. What is easily noticeable in the picture crowded with bikes and people. It's more likely and action on an individual level than on a national one. Indeed, people are riding safely bikes on their own to their destinations. Moreover, this “bikes only area” initiative represent a good way to fight pollution in cities by reducing greenhouse gases mostly produced by cars. Speaking of today pollution have disastrous, numerous and adverse effects on wildlife, environment, and human. This action is a necessary and brings hope for the future. So besides being outside all these people are moving and doing sports instead of remaining stuck inside their cars, which also enables them to cut greenhouse gases and improve the air quality of cities. This is a very good way to improve their well-being. It makes their daily life healthier than ever.

In addition to the “bike only area documents” we are going to introduce a new one about kitchen garden for restaurants. The document show us a sharp contrast between a large vegetable garden and skyscrapers in the background. Indeed, this vegetable garden is located at the top of a building in the open hair right in the middle of a big city. Two men apparently cooked are waking on it and looks particularly absorbed in their work. Actually most restaurants used to buy frozen vegetables or to import them from the countryside this picture represents a major shift in the way we produce food by using a huge garden in the open hair among the building. Thus, they become both gardeners and cooks and probably tend to pay more attention to quality of the food they use. It's an advantage for both the customers who'll eat dishes made with fresh vegetables, and the cooks.

The first two pictures help us to understand the impact of initiative undertake on an individual level and their benefits for American people well-being. It's a relevant illustration of the notion of progress.

Now let's focus on a national level. One of the biggest action done on a national level was Michele Obama's "let's move initiative" during the Barack Obama's presidency. It has considerably changed American habits in the way they eat. Especially for children in school. In fact through a report we discovered that the First Lady wanted to make the cafeteria food healthier by reducing fatty, salty and sugary food and by doubling the amount of vegetables served in cafeteria. This initiative help children to substitute high calorie foods such as fat milk by light food with better nutritional value at home. It's a good way to change American children's behavior and to improve their well-being with more balanced meals.

To conclude I would say that on the whole, new ways found by American people to improve their well-being are welcomed initiative. I (really) feel that these initiatives are much more than just trends. It seems like a necessity to me. All these initiatives we talked about were at the same time great for both people and environment with less pollution, better food and finally healthier and sportier lives.​

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